Speak Now Storyteller

Summary: An American backpacker gets involved with a ring of drug smugglers as their driver, though he winds up on the run from his employers across Cologne high-speed Autobahn.

There are minor spoilers ahead.

Pros:

The Cast. It’s a bit sad really, because the actors are good. Nicholas Hoult and Felicity Jones are good actors and they do their best. Ben Kingsley is a great actor and it’s easy to tell that he’s having fun.

Cons:

The Characters. All of these characters are badly written. They don’t have any serious motivations, at least nothing that really holds up. Casey Stein meets a girl and decides to give up his profession in drug dealing or whatever he was doing… but he doesn’t even know the girl. Like seriously. Juliette’s purpose is to be a love interest and be the damsel, she literally does nothing else. Hagen and Geran are two peas in a pod, just on different ends of the pod and they’re just the heads of drug organizations. One is a loud crazy guy and the other is a Bond villain. They’re all just terrible and I didn’t care about any of them or what happened to any of them.

The Story. So the synopsis says that he got involved as their driver, but I don’t remember ever seeing him being a driver. I never really saw him doing anything before he left the life for Juliette. Unless I blinked and missed it. But he gets back involved after he finds out that Juliette and sick and things go awry. After that, it just get silly. There’s an overblown plot about a truck and some drugs, and ugh, it just doesn’t matter!

Dialogue. It’s horrible. I can’t remember the line but there is something someone says and I could not believe they said it with a straight face. It was so bad. The actors try to make it sound convincing but it’s so bad that even they can’t make it sound good. I know it’s a movie, but no real person talks to their lover the way Juliette and Casey talked to each other at times. I think their dialogue when they first met was just so silly and juvenile.

The Romance. I didn’t think that Hoult and Jones didn’t have chemistry but I didn’t think their romance was interesting. It could have been but after they meet, he leaves his line of work because she didn’t like it. Then they start their romance and the movie obviously didn’t care about it that much because they just showed a montage of them sexing it up and going out together. It didn’t seem like it was that long before the drama started happening and they wanted to move in together. I was like… it’s been a month? Then she’s sick… and she didn’t tell him? I mean… you’re living together. What’s wrong with you. Ugh. It was just so dumb.

Overall, the acting is good and I think the movie has a nice look to it, but it’s bad. The dialogue is super weak and silly. All of the characters are poorly written, with hardly any motivations for what they’re doing other than what the plot says. The romance was badly written and handled, while the actors had pretty good chemistry, the romance was not handled in a way that would make any of Casey’s reasons to do what he does to save Juliette feel real. The action wasn’t even that interesting. It’s sad because the actors just tried to do what they were paid to do and… it’s unfortunate what happened.

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

Have you seen Collide? What are your thoughts on it?

Which do you prefer Collide or Baby Driver?

Let me know in the comments below!

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