Movie Reviews

Worst Movies of 2022

So! As per usual, I do these lists well into January because of laziness and the want to rewatch stuff but that doesn’t happen and I have to be real with myself and just go ahead and make the list lol. Some movies may shift around the list but I won’t come back and change the list lol, unless I revisit in the future… but anyway, 2022 had some doozies but there were also some that weren’t great but they had major potential or I didn’t hate them lol.

This list is of course my opinion. I would love to hear what is on your list!

Dishonorable Mentions: Moonfall, The Invitation, The School of Good and Evil

10. Don’t Worry Darling

Unfortunately, this movie has the makings of something really interesting but the plot gets super wonky after Alice makes her discovery. There are too many questions with barely any answers. Some character choices don’t make sense and while Florence Pugh is amazing, she can’t save the film. I think the other actors are fine as well, but I would have made some other storytelling choices. It really falls into a mess.

9. The King’s Man

Boring boring boring, I actually fell asleep in the beginning, in the theater lol. I think I got into it more later but it’s so boring. I really feel like they had lightning in a bottle with Kingsman: A Secret Service and they haven’t been able to harness that again. Honestly, bring back Eggsy lol.

8. Amsterdam

So boring. The acting is good and the characters are interesting to an extent but I feel like they’re quirky and weird just to be quirky and weird. My favorite part is a scene towards the end with Margot Robbie, Anya Taylor-Joy and Rami Malek, it cracks me up. But the plot is convoluted and no one cares lol.

7. The 355

I could not tell you what this movie was about except that they traumatized Lupita’s character and I was so angry about it. I wanted to like it more and I think there was some interesting ideas in it, but it’s so forgettable. I think I also wished that Jessica Chastain’s character was played by someone else, she wasn’t bad but she didn’t feel right in the role. Maybe Lupita would have been better but I actually liked her in her role so I don’t know I just wasn’t pleased with her that much.

6. Jurassic World: Dominion

I already didn’t like the second one and I didn’t like that kid and I really didn’t like her in this one. They really wanted to do that Claire and Maisie having a “mother/daughter communication issues”. What an annoying teenager. I also hate that stupid “let me put my hand up and tell these raptors to not charge and eat me”. I seem to remember it not even being about dinosaurs but about insects. I guess it was cool to see the OG cast return but I’m not nostalgic for them so outside of the scene where Ellie had to go through that room full of bugs, I don’t remember what they did in this movie. I also don’t care about Owen and Claire as a couple. But Jeff Goldblum and Sam Neill both are so handsome in this. The white hair works for them lol.

5. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

I just know I don’t like these movies, the first one is fine but after that, wow. The acting is generally fine from everyone, I think Jude Law was truly the standout in this one, and some of the characters are interesting but… why are these still called FANTASTIC BEASTS? They keep shoehorning in these random creatures to keep that series title when they literally don’t have to. They keep forcing Newt Scamander into these stories when they don’t have to. I didn’t like what they did with Queenie in the second one at the end and it seemed like people caused a stink and they tried to heavy backtrack some things with her. Not to mention the whole thing with Johnny Depp and I don’t think they made a comment about why Grindelwald was now another person, if they didn’t, that’s an easy line fix. I just really didn’t like it lol.

4. Morbius

I actually didn’t hate this movie but I recognize it’s bad and unfortunately, I wish we got to see what the movie from 2020 would have been. I like Jared Leto as an actor (and I like his band lol) so I think he was fine for what he had. Matt Smith was clearly having fun but the story was so bad and I could not help myself but to edit while I was watching. There are so many things I would have switched around or would have changed. Also, the female lead, she was so underused and then forced into a romance with Morbius. Don’t even get me started on the end credit scenes OR how Jared Harris’ character clearly was way more important but they pared down his role. Man, what a missed opportunity. I’m sick of Sony and their “I’ma make this comic villain character into an anti-hero type”. Like, let them be villains lol. It’s fine.

3. They/Them

Wow, what a mess and a missed opportunity. I feel like they could have actually gone in a more dark comedy/horror type of film. Not to mention, spoiler alert, none of the campers actually die and I was expecting way more stakes. Instead, we get an unhinged story that’s full of Kevin Bacon (who is amazing) mean mugging lol. Plus, the main campers weren’t the best actors, some of them felt very unnatural as people but actually actors. There were also romantic beats I felt were forced. What a mess. Also… that “Fucking Perfect!” song scene! If you know, you know. The title is so clever… so damn shame. It’s literally they slash them lol.

2. Pinocchio

I hate that this movie feels so soulless. The acting is fine and the CGI sometimes is good but the retelling of the animated movie feels so shallow. There are a lot of unnecessary changes that have no real payoff and that ENDING was so stupid. I know these remakes are really mostly because of money but I have enjoyed most of them for the most part (outside of maybe 3 or 4 lol and probably not the ones you think) but this one is probably the worst. Any of the charm that could have been there is gone or it comes and then swiftly goes.

1 – Firestarter

My god lol. I’ve seen the Drew Barrymore version when I was a kid but I don’t remember much of it so I was going into this with basically nothing to compare it to. Still have nothing to compare it to but this movie was so bad. The entire time, I kept thinking that Mckenna Grace would have bodied the role of Charlie, she’s just too old. No shade to Ryan Kiera Armstrong but she was really bad. Zac Efron was fine in places and I generally find him charming, but none of that was present in this film. The story was handled badly and I don’t know if that’s Stephen King’s fault of the filmmakers for not adapting it correctly. Unfortunately, I think there’s potential… but it wasn’t met. Maybe it would have been a better 6 episode mini series or something lol.

Anyway, that’s my list for MY worst movies of 2022. It’s just my opinion and some of these movies might be “worse” than others but my list often is how I enjoyed them on top of being bad lol.

So thanks for reading and be sure to like and follow for more posts like this one! I’ll have my Best of 2022 up soon!

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