Speak Now Storyteller

Characters that should NOT be together

This is a companion piece to “Characters who should be together” where I think these characters should not have gotten together. They either remained together or dated but broke up but their relationship just didn’t do it for me. No bonus here.

Joey Tribbani & Rachel Green– Friends

I mean, I get why they did it but it didn’t work for me. It was too strange. They were so different, sure Joey is cute and he ended up having feelings for Rachel and he matured a little, but I cannot imagine them ever working out which is probably why it didn’t. At first, he was pining after her, which was so weird as Joey never pined after anyone, it was so out of character. Then suddenly Rachel wants to be with him and ugh… just another obstacle for Ross and Rachel (which I also don’t understand the dislike for the couple or for Ross. I mean I get it but it’s really not that bad). Joey and Rachel were better off as friends; I know it didn’t last but thank goodness it didn’t because gross.

Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert– The Vampire Diaries

Oh my goodness, probably the couple I hate the most on this list, also the couple I hate the most on the show. It makes no sense to me. She was legit afraid of him in the beginning AND he killed her brother, there was no natural progression to their romance. It was just decided for them. Damon doesn’t love her, in the beginning, he wanted her because she looked like Katherine and because he wanted to spite Stefan. You can’t tell me otherwise because that relationship makes no sense. Why would Damon be Elena’s “epic love” but Stefan is her “true love” but Damon and Elena belong together? That makes no sense. Epics end and they usually end in tragedy. All their relationship is arguing, declarations of love and sex. They don’t sit and have conversations, they don’t know each other, they don’t love each other, they love the idea of each other. I also don’t see any chemistry between Somerhalder in Dobrev in these roles, which is weird as they dated in real life, and I also think Damon had more chemistry with Katherine, who is also played by Nina Dobrev, so it’s just Elena and Damon. I know Elena is young but I’m sorry, the sympathy goes out the door when you continue to make stupid decisions or put people in danger. It could have worked if their relationship didn’t become so dramatic. I saw in an article that Delena is like “an epic kiss-in-the-rain, die-for-you, can’t-live-without-you kind of love,” and that gets annoying and it no longer seems real but fake and forced. Whereas Stelena and Bamon are more practical because they can just be themselves as people together, instead of this couple. Damon and Elena don’t know how to be Damon and Elena on their own anymore. From what I’ve seen from some Delena fans is more focused on them together than who they are when they’re apart. That’s why Delena is a fail and I want it to never come back.

Clark Kent & Lana Lang/ & Lex Luthor– Smallville

Okay, this is one is a three couple because both relationships were horrible. First of all, I could not stand Lana, she was so uninteresting, a damsel and I thought Clark was too good for her. Sure, she was pretty and kind but boring and so bland. There was literally nothing special about her. Clark had a crush on her for years, they finally got together but the relationship was boring, all of his pining came to an end but Lana didn’t seem to care about Clark in the same way he cared for her. Even later, when she came back on the show, it didn’t make sense to try and even let them try to make it work. I will admit though, their last scene together was emotional, I did cry because it was sad but I also didn’t care because they didn’t need to be together anyway. Besides, he was always saving her from something and she didn’t start fighting for herself until much later. I didn’t there was any chemistry between them, she never looked at him the way he looked at her and I think that says a lot. Maybe it was because Kristen Kreuk wasn’t a very good actress but it was one-sided. If there was anyone in high school who would have been great for Clark was Chloe, now she looked at him the way he looked at Lana. I loved their friendship dynamic but a romance between them made more sense than “Clana”.

In terms of Lana and Lex… ooo boy. Not only were they like six years apart but again, he cared about her more than she cared about him and it seemed like he only liked her because he was jealous of Clark in general and wanted to at least take something away from him. Their relationship was destructive and gross. They started trying to destroy each other, or at least cause destruction in their own relationship. Just… so much unnecessary drama and more obstacles to keep Clark and Lana apart.

Killian Jones & Emma Swan– Once Upon a Time

I’m in the minority here but here me out… I don’t necessarily dislike them together; I don’t dislike Emma or Killian it’s just… I’m kind of over their relationship. In the beginning I was fine with it because Emma deserves happiness and I don’t really think Neal was the right move anymore. Maybe back in the day but at this point in her life, it wouldn’t have worked even if they shared a child together. But once they finally got together, the spark for me was over. Emma just kind of stopped being who she was now that she’s with him. Nothing stood between Emma and her son, no one but when she was the Dark One, she broke Henry’s heart in order to save Hook. I mean… what? Why would she do that? That was so horrible. She should have let him die. I also don’t like how she risked everyone’s life to go rescue him from the Underworld, especially with Henry being a preteen and her parents having a newborn. She didn’t even fight to make them stay when before this relationship she wouldn’t have let Henry come or probably even Snow since baby Neal would need her more. I think their relationship keeps Emma from considering other people the way she used too. When Hook was granted life by Zeus, they made out in front of Robin’s dead body, it hadn’t even been buried yet. I mean… what?? Maybe I wouldn’t mind as much if it wasn’t a focal point and was a sidelined thing because I am sick of their relationship being in the forefront for no reason. A good example, Snow and David are together but before these most recent seasons, it wasn’t the only thing that was important for them, it was their love for other people, for their daughter, them needing to make up their absence to her… love was still there but it wasn’t just them and no one else. I think Emma and Killian are just repetitive now, where else can they go that keeps them interesting, refreshing and relevant without it being slammed into our faces? I personally wouldn’t have minded an Emma/Jefferson thing, that would have been interesting or bring back Sheriff Graham because that probably would have been endgame (but that will never happen… thanks stupid 50 Shades of Grey).

Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf– Gossip Girl

I’m in the minority here again but look… we all know that this relationship was toxic to the high heavens. I mean, it had some great passionate steamy moments but… let’s be real. Not only are they both kind of horrible people, but Blair deserved better than Chuck (I actually didn’t mind Blair and Dan together, I just didn’t like him at all). They weren’t stable together, they were always breaking up, there was always something blocking them from being together: that swarmy prince, the car accident, Fleur Delacour, Jack Bass, and this would result in Blair dating someone else and Chuck turning to alcohol, women and drugs. SO MUCH DRAMA. I love good drama but good lord, these two couldn’t even just be in a normal relationship without something happening… she witnesses Chuck basically killing his father and now it’s a secret thing, Chuck traded Blair for a friggin hotel, and they just couldn’t move on together. Their problems as a couple didn’t help them become a better couple, it just gave them more drama. Where was the substance? For this couple to become the “face” of the show, there wasn’t anything there but sex and drama which nope does not count as a relationship. Anytime Chuck did something wrong, he would try to fix it with grand gestures, I know they’re rich but I’m sure just apologizing would work just fine. It wasn’t all bad but I don’t think that’s enough.

Ezra Fitz & Aria Montgomery– Pretty Little Liars

HE WAS HER TEACHER. I just can’t get past that. Plus, he was weird, and creepy and I never trusted him, still don’t trust him and she’s my least favorite “liar”. They meet in a bar that 15-year-old Aria had no business being in, they end up making out and later see each other again in school and I will give him credit for trying to not let it happen but she is so into it that he gives in. No, as the adult, as the teacher, he shouldn’t have let it go on for as long as it did. So, because of this… anytime they were intimate just creeped me out. It doesn’t matter if it started before she became his student, the fact is that he was an adult and she was a minor for most of their relationship…gross and it does not need to happen again. I don’t care if it was in the books, end it. Kill it with fire.

Wes & Rebecca– How To Get Away With Murder

Um… hated her so much. Wes is definitely the good guy, with a hero complex, and he seems like he would be a great boyfriend but he needs someone who is similar to him. So why he ever thought Rebecca was a good match for him was stupid. First of all, I hated her too. She was so annoying, the way she talked was not cute and endearing, it was grating. They had no chemistry and their first intimate moment was edited alongside an autopsy scene… I wonder if that was a metaphor for their relationship but regardless, no. She lied to him too much, kept secrets, when all he was trying to do was prevent secrecy. A lot of their problems, or future problems, could have been prevented if she had just been honest with him from the get go. Plus, in the flashbacks, it kind of seemed like she had a thing for Laila and I didn’t mind the idea of Wes and Laurel but I know that will never happen and I’m okay with that too. Wes has enough tragedy in his life that all that nonsense with Rebecca was unneeded.

Aristotle & Dante– Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

It was implied at the end of the book, but if you’ve read my review you get why I have a problem with this. I knew that Dante was gay and in love with his best friend which was fine but the problem came when Aristotle wasn’t given the choice himself to be gay or love his best friend. He was told by his parents and doctor how he felt even though he himself never indicated those thoughts and/or feelings. I wouldn’t have minded if it was natural, or he thought about it himself but he never did. He was told and it was just… a happy ending. Nope. Not acceptable. Relationships are natural and when it’s birthed through friendship it’s even better but this one wasn’t. It was pushed.

Sam Winchester & Ruby– Supernatural

Ugh. I can’t say I liked any of Sam’s relationships except maybe Jess and Sarah (but I guess she doesn’t count) but not only did they not have any chemistry on screen, but the fact that he couldn’t see past his nose with her was so irritating. It had always been Sam and Dean against the world but he would not listen to his brother about her, she had been playing them from the beginning but Sam could not peep it because he was caught up in what she could do for him. It was destructive, it almost destroyed him and it just about destroyed the world. How he could have thought drinking demon blood to amplify his powers was okay and acceptable blew my mind, yeah it had its perks but you’re drinking blood like a damn vampire man… that’s red flags right there. I also didn’t like this version of Ruby, Katie Cassidy was cool but Genevieve didn’t fit into the role, so the chemistry was off, which is strange since they’re married in real life, and it wasn’t sexy, it was gross.

Jenny Humphrey & Nate Archibald/ & Vanessa Abrams and all the other random ridiculous women– Gossip Girl

Long title but so true. I did not like Jenny, I didn’t like the fact that Nate liked her, there wasn’t anything interesting about her. She was a wannabe and a poser and too young for both Nate and Chace Crawford. She does eventually become her own person but she still allows herself to get sucked up into the world that he wasn’t really involved in like that and she became the same type of women he was always with. Jenny could have been something if she wasn’t annoying and didn’t turn into everyone else. Nate has always been consistent and has matured throughout but in her seasons, she lost her mind and became the very people she started trying to be different from. Vanessa and Nate could have worked, but their undoing was that Nate was in love with Serena and Vanessa was in love with Dan, not to mention, she was a stalker and pretended that she didn’t care about that world but once again, another girl gets caught up in the drama. Then there are all of the other women he was with, none of them great, but the next one who stood out the most was Sage. Nate was an adult and she was in high school… not cool and she was horrible. Worse than Jenny, just ugh, she was such a brat and for some reason he was enamored with her.

Then of course there was the slew of other women, Bree Buckley was fine but everyone else, wow… cougars, women who gave him money to sleep with them (albeit he was doing that to help his family), con artists (Ivy), boring girls (Lola), I mean I just didn’t understand what the deal was. Poor Nate was a romantic, he was always optimistic to find love but the worst women came his way and between Nate, Chuck and Dan, Nate was the most honest, loyal and best catch out of them all. It’s such a shame he ended up alone but I guess that was for the best at that point in his life.

Professor Bhaer & Jo March– Little Women

No… Laurie. That is all. I liked Bhaer, it was nice but man… Laurie.

Aragorn & Arwen– Lord of the Rings

I haven’t read the books and while I adore Arwen and their romance is beautiful… I kind of wanted him to get with Eowyn. She seemed more his equal. I’m sure Arwen was awesome, but in the films, after she saves Frodo in Fellowship of the Ring, she kind of doesn’t do anything else whereas Eowyn “I am NO MAN!” killed the witch king! I mean BAMF! They should have gotten together.